Trinquant 1 - LXG 3

...AND THE REDS (LXG) GO MARCHING ON, ON, ON!!!

by Paulus Romanus

On a sunny (35 °C) Belgian day the LXG Reds signalled their intention not to let anything as trivial as a mounting injury list derail (Simon paella, Marco Primadonna, Martijn Van Dikkenekker) their fantastic season drive as they smashed 3-1 poor Trinquant beers' drinkers on a marvellous away performance.

[Ceyhun's contribution to the youth team celebrates LXG's first goal]


Tactical preparations were conducted by Coach Paulus Romanus in Barrio on Friday night with players listening carefully (Enola Gay???) and drinking 'eau platte' all night. Vic Napoleon, Peter Puskas, Flo Lafayette, Endrik Panther and injured Martijn Van Dikkenekker were explaining coach the hard life of a player, always choosing between putas and serious life with high constraints! Friday night...they went for alcohol!

Reminiscences of Friday night were clearly visible on Napoleon face and only the high notes of 'La Marseillese" sung by waiting LXG mates in front of Kitty O'Shea could wake him (a bit) up. 'No problème coach' Nap said 'tu vas voir aujourd'hui, j'ai le plein de gasoline qu'il faut!'. Coach Romanus and President McMullan, King of Alcohol, incredibly doubted.

Luckily after a derailed Rumanian GPS in Montgomery, the Reds went driving on, on, on! Towards Rosières, the daily battlefield! Faces were red (quite cold as Marco Lazio dressed a ugly Lazio Cap) and high passion was clear in the dressing room to continue the fantastic unbeaten run in 2007! Come on lads!

Immediately, Vivien la belle vie and Flo Lafayette both were devastating in the left wing and the first even scored twice before Gigi Bip Bip 'too fast' incredibly netted the second in a clear offside! It must have been the alcohol effect of a Friday night!

Not for the first time this season, Endrik Panther was wrong in tempo, BUT, what shall we say to this greatest legionnaire fighting always so hard?

Peter Puskas was unstoppable on the right wing while defence Mc Scouser was perfectly singing a ballet dance on a brand new soccer pitch and laughing around by looking other games rolling on a muddy pitch! Trinquant defence was totally incapable of stopping the brilliant LXG wingers as game went on.

LXG Ladies supporters, Beata, Teresa and Valeria, finally arrived to scream their passion louder and louder and Cehyun's son was admiring LXG, and ladies (?) performance.

1-0 half time.

Coach Romanus decided a tactical change by introducing 39 years old Maldini for 'Rumanian phalange Catalino'. Rocky defence absorbed the shock! The tactical choice was to push LXG to score second goal and kill the game. From a corner cross came the second: good control from Endrik Panther and Vic Napoleon netted in with great shot from short distance.
"Vous l'avez vue mon alcool?". Trinquant was knocked out.

Paulus Romanus decided it is time for 'mamma prepares the pasta'; he got the ball from John O'Shea on the flank and penetrated inside the Trinquant box: only a panzer-tackle could stop his run and the penalty was inevitable: Puskas remembered that a beautiful girlies were watching him and decided to shot perfectly the penalty in the right end side of the goally! 3-0 and...Ciao ciao.

Marco Lazio came in for President Mc Mullan who decided to direct the reds from a 'buvette spot' and Jimmy the daddy man replaced a happy and exhausted Vivien la belle vie!

Still adrenaline time for the reds when new Trinquant substitute number 9 came inside LXG box and forced old 52 years Maldini to play a tackle-ball in our penalty area: Spider decided that no way his web was going to be scratched by this ass hole and got the penalty! Simply fantastic save!!

An amazed John Eoin O'Shea, incredulous from what he could see, decided to speak in an undecipherable Irish Gaelic mixture with Finnish word: 'uhm;...gut...min bulls go...fuc...bul". Marco Roma looked an astonished Paulus and said 'Did he mean that he got his balls kicked?". Romanus looked at Mc Scouser King of Ballets who looked dismayed and did not know what to say.

Well, nobody understands the little Irish man anyway!

In the end only Pineda Copacabana and Puskas last barrier were required to make contributions as stopping the last chances before the referee decide it was time for end and celebrations.

Legionnaires saluted applauding ladies and little Turkish kid on the far side line and decided to share in the showers last compliments. Another victory, another unbeaten week in 2007.

And, the Reds go marching on, on, on!!

LXG baby boom continues

Welcome to our youngest supporter - Emanuel.

Congrats Cata!

LXG 6 – DUDEN SPORT 1

Report by Marco Lazio aka Marco Roma

Life was beautiful last Sunday for the match against Duden Sport. Since the outset, there were some signs that it could be a nice day for "Luxembourg Cinquante" (as Duden Sport's coach called us): coach Paulus Romanus, for instance, decided to add an elegant touch to the match and left home his awful Manchester tie…Girlfriends and many LXG lads came to watch the show…except Eoin O'Shea, who decided to enjoy the beauty of Rome (good choice) and watch another match whose result would not deserve to be mentioned, apart from the fact that it was not good enough to make Ireland win the 6 nation trophy after 26 years (well done anyway, Ireland)

But let's come to the match that started with 2 minute delay, which seemed to upset whom would then become the man of the match: the referee! Our LXG legionnaires started pushing hard against a team whose only objective seemed to defend the initial 0-0. Someone complained about the match balls being pumped too much. Marco ROMA(!!), in charge of pumping the balls, justified it by saying that the pump was close to the American pretty server waitress at the bar and that he pumped the balls as much as he could in order to talk to her…would you blame him?

However, after few minutes of play, the referee started his great performance with a yellow card to Endrik the Panther. Not much later, le fils de Puskas reminded the world that Hungary would have actually won a World Cup, if Germany had not used tons of illicit substances in 1954, and penetrated on the right side, entered into the box and scored the first goal of the day. But it was only the beginning. 5 minutes later, Saj King of Gent decided to remind that also Belgium…well…let's simply say that he showed the entire world how you can neutralise an offside strategy and run 30 meters alone towards the glory and the 2-0.

Just the time to put the ball back to the centre of the pitch and the LXG legionnaires were again pushing hard to close the match so to say, in our coach's words, "3-0 and a casa, finito". It was Endrik the Panther's turn to contribute with the most classical of a centre attack's goal, with a header proving great timing on the ball and an Inzaghi-like goal instinct.

While the referee was smoking his cigarette during the break, coach Paulus Romanus gave instructions: "keep focus till the end, you will think of figa after the match". The message was crystal clear to all the legionnaires. Nevertheless, Duden Sport managed to score after few minutes with a header of a player whose performance was clearly influenced by the talent transmitted by San Salvador Jimmy's shoes. During the first half Duden Sport's Number 20 had broken his shoe and our Jimmy lent him his shoe, allowing him to continue the match. Someone suspects that ABSSA could consider that as Jimmy's own goal.

The 3-1 gave back some confidence to Duden Sport. It was then when God's hand intervened, with Florian Lafayette's professional volleyball smash, which cleared our goal line. These French…sometime they seem not to understand the basics of this game, using their head when they should not and their hands against the ball…

However, the referee did not see anything, but still decided to show his authority by giving few minutes later an astonishing yellow card to the mildest of all legionnaires, Jani Litmanen, who had just replaced Endrik the Panther, injured and frustrated by the referee. When asked about the reason of the yellow card, our Finnish hero said: "I was smiling".

After some minutes of difficulty, our legionnaires decided to put the match back on track. A few initiatives were blocked by the referee whistling a series of non-existing offsides, but eventually a header by Copacabana Pineda on a corner by Pietro the fils de Puskas hit the internal part of the post. Was it a goal? In the doubt, Marco ROMA (!!), who had replaced at half time Napoleon Victor, kindly tapped the ball into the net, just to be sure. While Copacabana was celebrating and shouting in Spanish "y eso tambien es fuera de juego?", the conscientious referee run behind him and said with that kind of French delicate accent that only a Walloon can have (no offence to our Belgian friends) "Monsieur, ce n'est pas a` vous, le but" and indicated Marco Roma(!!) as the scorer to be remembered in the ABSSA archives.

The last few minutes were just a piece of symphony by the LXG orchestra, with Pietro the fils de Puskas scoring another goal, this time starting from the left side. After this second goal by Pietro il Grande Ungherese, our President was asked to submit a formal request to Pietro's girlfriend to watch all the match till the end of the season, given the uncountable positive effect on her man's performances. Finally, while the match was about to finish, Marco Roma(!!) felt that he also needed a proper goal, beside the one just stolen to Copacabana, and thanks to an enlightening pass made by Jani yellow-card Litmanen run alone against the goalkeeper. For the first time since 1985 Marco ROMA(!!) did not shot against the goalkeeper and actually scored. Some gossips (from Liverpool?) said that he had tried to fail, but the goalkeeper moved at the last moment…

Then the triple whistle came. Another luminous victory for LXG, which remains unbeaten in 2007. That was serious football, "6-1, a casa, finito". No putas this time: too many girlfriends (and a child!) around and we are still the Elegant Extraordinary Gentlemen team (not Luxembourg!). Only Spanish showers, this time.

COBRA 1 - LXG 1

Report by Florian Lafayette

On Saturday 10 March, LXG legionnaires faced COBRA in their battlefields of Kraaimen in a clash of the top two teams. The game had all the making of a big event: Girlfriends and friends had turned up in numbers on a sunny but crispy March day, coach Paulus Romanus in an Ferguson like attempt had put on his best Manchester United tie, and Dutch Emperor Martin Van Bommel, probably still confused and drunk from the night before, showed up with his latest Gucci sun glasses thinking that this was an all girls game somewhere down the Italian coast!

Soon after, players started preparing themselves mentally when the unavoidable occured. Patrick, King of all Scousers, received a call from our beloved Romanian Catalino, whose Romanian GPS had once again let him down on the way to the pitch. The ensuing conversation between Catalino and Patrick King of all Scousers had all the making of a joke, as Mr Scouser passed over the phone to me with a look of: '"It is Cata on the phone, can you give him directions? Flo can you help, please? I am struggling to understand what he has to say as he must be so excited about the game".
After this slight delay, coach Paulus Romanus gave one of his most inspirational speeches of the season and LXG legionnaires marched out onto the field to take on the best team so far in the league in a 4-4-1-1 tactic (no mention of torello this time though..;).

The begining of first half started well. For the first ten minutes, the LXG midfield of Pineda Copacabana and Vivien La belle vie seemed to control the ball, and a couple of free kicks and corners were found thanks to some determined running from Peter - Bip Bip- Puskas and Victor Napoleon on both sides of the wing. The best chance of the half came to Victor Napoleon's canon shot from outside of the box, which skimmed the bar and was heard all the way back on the plains of Waterloo. Surely, a contender for most amazing shot of the season on You tube's website. The remainder of the half was, however, a stark contrast to the beginning of the game as COBRA started to assert themselves by controlling more and more the midlfield and putting regular pressure on the defence. The spaces left in the midlfied and some inadvertent incursion by Florian Lafayette (I love to pretend to be a left back) into their attack led to one of COBRA's defenders stealing the ball and running down the whole length of the pitch to see his shot go wide of Michal's (the black Spider) post. Nevertheless, the defence, very active, in the latter part of the first half, held firm and LXG legionnaires went into half time in need of a break and a tactical reshuffling.

Changes were made with Marco Primadonna switching to left midfiled with Napoleon, Saj King of Gent taking over from Vivien la belle vie in the midfield, Maldini swooping with Eoin O'Shea at right back and Jimmy Daddy switching to left back in place of Patrick, King of all Scousers. The changes made seemed to pay off as LXG took the upper hand in the midfield. The left midfield was seeing a bit more of the ball and some nice moves between Marco Primadonna, Endrik the Panther and Napoleon kept their defence busy and resulted in a corner down on the left touch. Marco Primadonna took the corner and his long and beautifully curved cross landed on the keeper's goalline, who made a mess of it and let the ball cross his own line. Result: 1-0 for us. The subsequent celebration was an italian version of the film "Chariots of fire" with Marco Primadonna running half way across the pitch to jump passionately into coach Paulus Romanus' arms, which left both their girlfriends on the touchline wondering about their allegiance to the male sex.

Upset by such turn of events, COBRA pulled in all forces and made some changes by bringing on an additional forward. Straight from the kick off, COBRA kicked a long ball downfield which escaped the defence, but Michal's (the black spider) great sliding save held their assault. COBRA threatened forward but the defence held firm with some strong play in the air and strong tackling until a free kick was awarded to the opposition just outside the box. The ensuing free kick and especially defensive wall (to be shown at all great football academies) was an example of WHAT not to do. Members of the defensive wall (whose names will not be divulged for fear of repraisal) and probably thinking that it was time to take part in a jumping competition, jumped all together in unison when their number 10 spotted the gap and kept his shot low to the ground which fooled inevitably Michal the Spider. 1-1. The result was some swearing by our Polish keeper in his native language, which thankfully nobody understood.

With 10 minutes left, LXG legionnaires pushed forward one last time, especially down the right flank where Peter - Bip Bip - Puskas outpaced his defender a couple of times to see the first time his shot go wide and the second time his cross land in perfect position for Endrik the Panther to score the winner. However, Kraaimen being not the theater of dreams (not yet) for LXG, Endrik the Panther decided to proceed otherwise. Instead, Endrik in an uncharacterist fashion decided to mix his pencils (his feet) like a great Italian painter and proceeded to hit everything but the target. Fair to say, however, that the bad bounces on the pitch did not help.

With this chance left begging, COBRA tried one last time but LXG held firm for a 1-1 draw, which left the opposition (especially their stupid goalkeeper) celebrate like they had won the championship. As pointed out by a very emotional and proud coach afterwards in the dressing room, LXG can take a lot of pride from this performance as we maintain our unbeaten record in 2007 and keep pressure on COBRA.

Braine 0 – LXG 4

Report by David Copacabana

Following the amazing victory and deserved revenge against Samedi (5-1 hammered on the first leg) during the previous week, the Roman Phalanx of motivated LXG Legionnaires moved on to the next battle on another muddy pitch in the middle of crops of beautiful rainy Belgium!

Despite the incredible win against Braine on the first leg (10-0), motivation and concentration were on top. This was reflected in punctuality (even Copacabana forgot about Brasilian different time hours), ID cards (finally even Romanians new EU citizens were in order) and plenty of time for the coach’s brief and good warm-up before kick-off!

“We have a difficult muddy pitch with everything to lose and nothing to win” and “torello! torello! torello” repeated Coach Paulus Romanus and the match started with full control of the ball by LXG warriors. Things were moving smoothly in the muddy pitch until LXG scored first goal. Braine players claimed offside to patience Cehyun Collina, who kindly volunteered to referee the match. 0-1 and LXG continued attacking! Lafayette went on the left wing and crossed a perfect ball which was headed by Paulus Romanus against the post. But, Endrik the Phantom was there to tap in it.
LXG legionnaires following the indications given by Paulus Romanus were fluently applying the “torello” and found repeatedly space and great corridors on the wings. Even Victor Napoleon could made amazing running despite the only three hours sleep after a crazy night at Mirano Disco! One of the interminable attacking allowed scoring the 0-2 for LXG! And just before half time Florian Lafayette header touched the post, showing LXG’s superiority during the first half of the match.

After half time, LXG Legionnaires determination to “kill the match” was clear but well understood. Samba samba and torello salsa continued during second half resulting in continuous seize over Braine’s goal. Once, twice, three-four-fives times… LXG was advancing effectively the Centre Phalange with brilliant football, however missing goal opportunities probably due to the easiness of getting through Braine’s lines. The match was also open to contra-attacks excellently resolved by McScouser Mullan 'à l'aise' like a ballet dancer on a muddy British pitch and Romanian Catalino to keep strong LXG defence. This gave full confidence to LXG strikers to continue searching for the ball. And the 0-3 came through an amazing Italian pass to our Dutch Emperor Martjin Van Bommel who stopped the ball with his chest and with his cold approach aniquilated the goalkeeper from short distance. Just few minutes later the Dutch Emperor showed his authority on the pitch finalising a game very well elaborated by LXG players. With 0-4 on the score, Braine continued fighting and created their sole goal opportunity that was erased from the pitch by our Polish Black Spider Michal, who finally justified his sleepy presence on the pitch with a nice brown trace on his very black clothes!

The well-concentrated LXG warriors kept the intensity of the game playing nice football, looking for the wings and more goals. Mission accomplished well celebrated with showers, beers, putas and Brazilian Carnival at the presence of Founding President, Sir Cameron.