LXG 5 - Waterloo 0 (Division 5C Champions!)

Report by Chris, outgoing Communications Monkey

Saturday 5 May 2007.

The top team in the league against the bottom – a foregone conclusion?

LXG could not afford to “meet their Waterloo” as they needed 3 points to confirm the Division 5C title. So perhaps no coincidence that Vic “Napoleon” was a rare absentee on this day?

Paolo lined the team up in a deceptively attacking 4-5-1 formation:

.............Endrik..............
Vivien...................Peter
....Shaju..Cata..Paolo....
Jimmy.Pat.Florian.Eoin
............[Michal].............

Meanwhile, a mob of rabidly enthusiastic LXG supporters lined up in their own formation along the touchline.

If there were any nerves on this crucial day, they were soon settled when a floating cross from Peter Puskas on the right flank was beautifully turned in by… the opposing goalkeeper making a wild flap. 1-0 LXG.

The pressure was all from the home team. Long hopeful balls from the opposition inevitably found the head of Pat or Florian in defence or Cata in front of them. The rest of the midfield created some dangerous attacks. Vivien, Shaju and Paolo were breaking well and finding Jimmy, Eoin, Vivien and Peter with plenty of space on the wings. Endrik was dropping and linking well and the stage was set for another convincing LXG performance.

This fine pressure resulted in a moment of high drama in a crowded Waterloo penalty area. A loose ball was expertly despatched to the back of the net by Paolo with an acrobatic (albeit low-level) bicycle kick. The referee, who had blown his whistle some time earlier for off-side, was unsympathetic to his energetic protests and awarded a yellow card.

Cata was next in the book, harshly punished for a mistimed challenge. He responded in perfect style by driving home a nice lay-off on the edge of the area. 2-0 LXG!

A rare counter-attack by an ineffective Waterloo only gave Michal the chance to extend a spider leg and demonstrate the last of the season’s classic reflex saves.

Soon after Endrik was put through and added to his impressive tally for the season with a fine finish. 3-0 LXG and the crowd were in raptures. The referee took pity on Waterloo and whistled for half time and the LXG warriors were welcomed back to the touchline as heroes.

“It’s not over yet” warned Paolo in his half-time talk. The opposition were less convinced, one saying “Ok we lost, you won – now how about some of the champagne you’ve got there?!”

Vivien, one of the best performers in the first half, subbed off for Marco Roma to enter the fray. He wore the number 7 shirt in honour of his team’s heroic 7-1 capitulation to Man United in the Champs League. He was to have an eventful 35 minutes, involving: an excellent toe poke volley from a free kick that sailed just wide; a tap-in to an open net some minutes later (4-0 LXG!); and a fine solo dribble along the byline that ended in him announcing his retirement.

LXG’s second super sub was Gio. Nobody was quite sure which end of the field he would take up position, least of all himself. But he settled for a mostly centre-back Maldini role, with only brief schizophrenic Paolo Rossi moments in the opposing penalty area.

The opposing keeper had been hobbling about for most of the game in an exaggerated way, making Michal’s hypochondriac tendencies seem tame in comparison. Some sceptical LXG supporters felt he had a bruised ego at most. His acting was put to the test when he stopped but failed to collect an LXG shot. Paolo came haring in and danced a brief tango with the no.1 until the ball rolled lethargically into the net. 5-0 LXG?! But no, the referee was unimpressed with the footwork and Paolo narrowly avoided his marching orders.

LXG fans were delighted that the third substitution brought on Simon for a cameo for the last minutes. Having been out through injury for months, his knee was so well strapped it would withstand anything but perhaps an exocet missile or an Alfordinho challenge.

But the spotlight was back on Endrik who took the ball in an apparently unpromising position close to goal but at a very narrow angle. He showed Paolo how it was done with a fine Gigi cha-cha-cha bip-bip dance move around the keeper. 5-0 LXG, worthy champions of ABSSA Division 5C.

The whistle for full time was soon followed by the poppping of champagne corks as LXG players and supporters alike amassed in a huge scrum of polyester shirts, sweat and bargain value bubbly.
Even Paolo fully enjoyed the moment, without a worry for the next game or fine-tuning torello tactics.

Only Michal seemed disappointed with the team’s emphatic victory. “Some of the passing in the first half was a bit loose” he mumbled. Viva Poland! Viva LXG! Division 5C champions!

Martijn’s bus tour around the Grand Place never materialised but LXG players and fans alike drank to the championship through the afternoon and late into the night. Congrats to all and thanks especially our tireless coach Paolo and tiresome President Pat, Lord of all Scousers!

Man of the match: Cata

Final Division 5C standings

Alicancre 0 - LXG 2 (LXG promoted!)

Report by Gigi Bip Bip

Sun was shining last Saturday in Marrakesh Schaerbeek were LXG Legion was ready for another exciting match. Two more to go, final acts of a tremendous effort which has lasted for 8 months.

Despite the 55 °C, the Legionnaires met at Kitty at early noon. Only 12 people available. Eoin O'Shea even tried to discourage Pat King of Maldives to show up by translating English email into unreadable Gaelic, with the clear intention to be captain.

At the arrival in Schaerbeek the Legionnaires realised how beautiful is the home green pitch of Tervuren. Titus, looking at the horrible desert pitch tried to distract the opponents by phoning Abssa and trying to cancel the game without success.

Referee Da Silva decided that Palma de Majorca is better place than Schaerbeek allowing Catalino Collina to marvellously referee the match.

The LXG warriors tried from the beginning to attack by putting pressure to the opponents: Vic Napoleon was flying on the left wing, where Lafayette was in a bit difficulty to find his ways out on the desert pitch! The midfield tried to distributed balls around, in an unusual torello, where the ball looked to take flipper directions and penalising our "gold" feet!

Alicancre played off-side rule, but a great combination between the King of Duvel Saj and Puskas created the best chance: Endrik finished it in the net but Collina Rumania decided that was not time yet for LXG promotion! Still 0-0.

Titus, Michal Spider and all defenders where creaming each others with sun cream as opponents rarely forced LXG territory. LXG had the situation under control but the horrible surface made "a real soccer" impossible to play.

Time was passing and even the calmest LXG supporters, Livia and Lafayette junior, became impatient. Half time: 0 - 0. Pressure very high!
Coach Paulus Romanus showing how tactics is a pure science, mixed the cards in order to confuse Alicancre. From a 4 - 5 - 1 formation, LXG moved to a 4 - 4 - 2 formation to put higher pressure on their defence. Jean Lux took his bathing dress off to take the place of the Irish rock who had the opportunity to lie down and cream himself too.

LXG decided that history has been waiting too much: corners were flooding and the goal was in the air. Peter Puskas crossed perfectly in the box where Gigi Bip Bip punctually came scoring with an amazing header: 1 - 0!

Alicancre pirates started attacking...An amazing free kick from 15 yards made Captain Presidente of Maldive afraid that the ball could go in, but Spiderino Michal showed the Pirates the empty net! ' No time yet for desperation, my lads' he screamed!

Lafayette Senior controlled the defence and the LXG midfielders moved the ball quicker; another corner in favour allowed our team to breathe. Do not ask how could the temperature be so high!!

Puskas remembered that his girlfriend was around and he had to deserve later sex by showing a better football. Using his foot like a joystick, he just pushed the button. and the second corner came like the previous one. Same scheme, same positions, same action. 'Endrik Bip Bip too fast', with great volley on the right top high corner made it 2 - 0.

After controlled celebrations few last tentatives were made by Alicancre players, more to try to deconcentrate Collina Rumania than Michal Spider.

At the triple whistle champagne was open, and celebration started! HISTORY has been made! LXG is promoted!
Gigi BIP BIP, despite lads were thirsty for the tremendous effort, decided to use champagne to water the coach and reward him for the wonderful work made during the year.
Just a small appetizer of what is looking ahead next Saturday... when a paid open coach Tour of Grand Place will be offered by Martino Van Dikkenekker!