Match Report Sat 26th January

Match report by Martijn Vliegenthart

Last Saturday we had a tough match against the lowest team on the
table. In the past we had already experienced that playing against a
team low on the table could bring a lot of nonchalance in our play,
so we were warned. .... This Saturday 14 LXG warriors we ready to
fight….
The preparation started as always at Kitty's where some of us had
breakfast by drinking coffee. The standard procedure when meeting
each other, is to come always 15 minutes too late, like real
Italians...we should do something about that !!!
Paolo Rotkappchen told us in his inspiring speech that we had to
pressure immediately and that was what we did the first minutes.
Unfortunately no tactics about torrellos or sobro positions...
We had a good warming up with some good one touch rondos and some
Circus Boltini acts from Catalin Mutu who almost missed the match by
twisting his ankle a bit..
Our capitano for Saturday was Endrik Bip Bip and he had only one task
which was very simple but important: winning the toss. Endrik was
proud like a "French cocq" that he won it as he stated afterwards: I
wasn't a real Italian when I would have lost it (Italian logic.?)
But again, winning the toss was very important as the pitch had a
height difference of 12 meters and we were facing the local typhoon
that could make the difference at first half.
The match.....
Endrik Bip Bip and Luc Twente created a war up front from the first
minute and with the two wingers Simon Armada and Marco Pony causing a
lot of troubles for the defence of FC Gin Bitter Lemoniettes, we
followed the instructions of then trainer.
Fransceso Lazio and Peter Puskas were covering and defending the
whole territory besides the centre of the pitch, because that was
under control of Pat Kuyt and Katalin Popescu. Sada Babos a la
playa , our enfant terrible who was a hooligan Friday evening during
indoor football, was coaching all the time and hoping for clean
sheets….
The mission to "close the game" inspired Luc Twente to score his
first goal, Endrik was inspired by Lucs goal and scored the second
goal and Martijn van Rotterdam was inspired by …nobody knows and
scored the third goal after 5 torrelos (according to Peter even a
handicapped person should have scored this goal. ...FYI)
In midfield we missed David ETA´o but the master on midfield Raffa
Wear Wolf dictated the game and played very solid as a spider in the
web. Before half time it was Luc Twente again and Raffa Wear Wolf who
pushing the score up to 5-0.
After halftime it was Sjahu Duvel who showed his face and joined the
Tifosi at the bench making fun of everybody and shouting like crazy
horses. Luc, Peter, and Sjahu…next time bring your pumpkins.....
In the meanwhile the opponent scored twice. Than something incredible
happened ....it was El Presidente himself, Pat Kuyt
who ...yes ....scored a goal! With a perfect assist of Simon Armada
it was Pat, who once decided to stand still instead of jumping (with
the space of a newspaper between the pitch and his feet) he headed
the ball between the posts leaving 23 people on the pitch, 12, 5
spectators, 2 dogs being flabbergasted...
Jean Luc Purple pants and "clap clap Paolo Rotkappchen" came in
second half and showed the younger guys that they shouldn't
underestimate the old boys. Well done guys!!!!
Looking forward seeing you all soon,
Martijn

Match report: LXG Cinquantennaire versus Cosmos Molenbeek (2-1)

19/01/08
Fresh from their very painful and undeserved loss to league leader PHARMA the week before, all mighty LXG cinquantennaire was facing in the space of 8 days the second toughest challenge of its young 2008 season: playing second place Cosmos Molenbeek at its fortress in Tervuren.
The team had to regroup. Despite commitment from every player to be on time for pre match talk, Lafayette once again managed to be late and almost missed Paolo's tactical pre match warm up speech and unfamiliar "guys, we kick these guys in the culo and we go home". The line up welcomed the return of a couple of long term absentees, in particular Titus the enforcer, and Endrik "guys look at my sun tan I have never been so dark, they are not going to recognise me at the committee del region"...
Paolo opted for a 4-4-2 formation signalling its intention that LXG would be ready to attack! The referee also signalled its intention: an explanation of the rules in French, English, Spanish, Dutch left our opposition gob smacked...and some of our players wondering in which language they would get away swearing at him...
1st half: The game started at a good tempo, LXG was passing the ball around, Paolo was still calm on the touchline, our wonderful trio of substitutes Viv la Bellevie, Paolo la science, and Francesco were about to take their seats when the unexplainable happened...A cry from as far away as the shores of Limerick in Ireland brought the game to a halt! Yes our national and one and only Eion the rock went for an unfortunate challenge against his opposite number and fell to the floor like a linguini in pain and unable to carry on...On came Vivien la Bellevie...
The game resumed, LXG had most of the possession, Titus the enforcer was keeping a tight control on his opposite number and threatening many times to show him the shining of his boots, our wingers were making good use of the space starting to threaten the defence. For their part, Cosmos Molenbeek, despite their lack in size and power relied on their speedy wingers and forward to cause problem...and so they did half way through the period when an exquisite cross from their winger to their center forward left Lafayette and Sada in total no mans land...the result was almost catastrophic with Lafayette making a goal line clearance! This big scare prompted LXG to step up a gear...a resulting action saw Titus the enforcer lose his position (thats what happens to romanians with enlargement, they think like the French and want to play in attack...;) and scramble for a ball down the left wing corner...instead of looking for a corner, our Romanian enforcer went on dazzling run down the corner line and with the whole team begging him to put the ball back square to 3 wide open players in the box Titus took everyone by surprise (even himself) and decided to shoot at the goal from the tightest angle possible in the world - the keeper was also completely caught by surprise and saw the ball roll under his slim belly...1-0 to the LXG....Yesssssssssssssss The end of the first half saw another glorious chance go begging for LXG with captain David Copacabanna and Endrik (I am still on holiday mode) missing twice from close range...half time approached....
Halt time talk was very intellectually stimulating...Paolo decided not to change the line up and urged us to show the same intensity....strangely that resulted in Paolo showing off his language skills and translating the word "coglioni" in all languages possible....
2nd half: The second half started in characteristic fashion…with LXG once again when leading letting the opposition dictate the pace of the game… Francesco de Lisi came on to replace goal scorer Titus with beep beep Puskas taking possession of the right wing…the result was not immediately felt with more and more fouls coming from LXG, the defence hurrying its clearances and the midfield not keeping control the ball as well as usual…A number of corners for Cosmos Molenbeek followed…On one of them our usually ever so reliable keeper Sada mispunched the ball in the air – the result was a big mess in the penalty box, with the defence not being able to clear the ball and one of their players thumping the ball below the bar…1-1
With 16 minutes left, things did not look good…LXG, however, regrouped under the leadership of their captain David Coppacabana and co-captain Saju…we started exerting pressure again with beep beep Puskas stepping up a gear down the wing and Marco Primadonna being more and more menacing….A few minutes later, LXG got a free kick from the half way line. Lafayette went up to put pressure on the defence and this time it was for real.... Captain David took the free kick and hit the ball towards the penalty box. The subsequent action was the stuff of dreams, something you can only dream of when watching goal of the month on "match of the day" – Lafayette managed to beat the offside and headed the ball back from the second post back to the first post where Endrik the Panther had followed and headed the ball into the net past a hapless goalkeeper….GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! 2-1 to the LXG!!!!! Ecstatic celebration followed!!! Endrik on his return from his beach vacation and despite his limited fitness showed that despite transfer rumours during the mercato and lack of form was back for good….:) Paolo took note and remained as calm as ever on the sideline….:)
The last 5 minutes saw Paolo come on…these last 5 minutes were also reminiscent of the best Hitchcock movies with LXG committing a record number of fouls, defending tooth and nail and Cosmos missing a glorious chance towards the end…
Final result: 2-1 to the LXG a deserved victory after the traumatising loss against PHARMA…
Go on LXG!!!!
Yours faithful Lafayette

Match Report vs. Pharma 2 on Saturday 12th January

Match Report vs. Pharma 2 on Saturday 12th January


This was a clash of titanic proportions. Pharma versus LXG.
A clash of heavyweights, styles, philosophies.

There were many precedents already known to us from history.

Sonny Liston versus Cassius Clay 1964

England versus Germany 1966

Germany versus Holland 1974

“Buster” Douglas versus Mike Tyson 1990

Italy versus Ireland 1994


It was with all these historic clashes in mind that we set out from Kitty’s on Saturday last. Most people looked fresh, having refrained from alcohol and femininas the night before. The sense of freshness from the alcohol abstinence was intensified it must be said, by the absence of Victor, who had no cause to pass by the fruit market at 5.00am. Our gallant chevalier was missing due no doubt to a groin injury sustained on the field of battle. Either that or sustained somewhere near St-Géry.

We had a small adventure getting to the pitch. The intrepid explorers who joined David Pineda were treated to bizarre directions from his GSP system, and in Dutch too. The car was the EU in microcosm, Hungarian language barking out from the back seat, Spanish and English tones in the front. Robert Schuman and his ideals live on.

The match was delayed, and did not start at 3pm exactly. The small bald referee eventually turned up at 3.25pm, bless his soul. He tried to speak loudly and lay out his vision of refereeing before the IDs were checked. “The first person to talk back will be taking a hot shower” was the gist of his message. Little did the little gnome know but the bloody showers didn’t have any hot water. More about that later.

LXG played a tremendous first half. We defended solidly and pressed them in midfield. The game had its physical moments. Pat found this out when he landed on his head after trying to pirouette away from their forward player. Ballet dancing is not for big men Pat, a lesson you should have learned early in life.

The opening goal came about 15 minutes into the first half. And what a goal it was.
Our “Pirlo” in midfield, Raffaele, plucked the ball out of the air, and with one fell swoop, drove a rocket of a shot into their net, bypassing the keeper before he had time to react. Magnificent. It reminded me of Ray Houghton’s cracker against Italy at Giants Stadium in the 1994 World Cup in the US.

The rest of the first half was uneventful, except for Peter Puskas trying to score an own goal, unlucky Peter!

The second half was a different affair though. Tiredness and some injuries began to take their toll, and Pharma seemed to have an extra bit of energy.

They attacked a lot, with many probing balls into our area. A header out from us after one such ball was latched onto by the Pharma midfielder, who booted a nice volley into the bottom corner.

A free kick shortly after nearly produced a spectacular goal on Sada’s near post. However, our US College All Star was alert enough to dive and push it onto the post.

The story did not have a happy ending however. A ball into our box from their right wing produced a challenge from our coach which the Napoleon-sized referee deemed a penalty. The Pharma winger coolly slotted home the penalty, reminiscent of the great Robbie Fowler in his prime.

Alas, a loss for LXG, but nonetheless a well contested match from our point of view. We came up against the top team and matched them for most of the game, losing in the end to a late sucker punch.

Eoin

A dutch-scoaring LXG…here we are !!!

The prismatic planetary team continues on its positive trend

Year 2008 just began and the sky was unexpectedly grey on Brussels last saturday. The weather was unfair and the temperature reached a minimum level, the lowest degree of all the year !!!

Few guys met in front of Kitty’s at the European Commission to leave for playing the return match against Mahiermont, a team of wallon peasants retired and inured themselves to belgian beers and carbonnade, whose the most recent football match watched at the TV was the last victory of England in an international tournament. Ages ago indeed.

Team spirit was still high after the break, in and out of the pitch. Some players looked overweight and with a punch of fantasy one could distinguish the silhouette of turkeys, porks and ducks and all eatable animal (ie. except mosquitos) through their stomaches. LXG players’ grand-mother’s seemed to have all together conspired against the team, from Lecce to Rovaniemi, from Istanbul to Madrid…

Once in the changing rooms, jokes were easily served on a silver dish by our dutch striker Luc “Brutus”: the brave guy from Amlelo arrived in the vestiaire wearing an improbable XXS Orange shirt from the deep ’70 (some argued they saw a dedication with an autograph from the great Johan Neeskens on it…) and spread naftaline all around his suddendly become ex-ex-ex-friends…

Good auspice, may it be.

Paulus Romanus was on his boerian luna di miele, miles away from his team but most probably trying to negotiate a prohibited business with the national south-african satellite institut, to check what was going on at Tervuren. and other fellows were still on their holidays, picking up girls by telling legends on their superb football team.

5 minutes before the starting whistle, a couple of Mahiermontois came to LXG, laughing and showing a yellow shirt and saying: “Nous - pas – avoir – maillot – jaune - car – pas – lavé…” Do you want to smell ? was the hidden question. And not so much hidden, actually.

Then we played in red, apart Luc who weared fucsia shorts for kids.

The initial line up:
Alessandro “Red Dragon”
Fra – McScouser – Flo – Viv
Cata – Copacabana – Shaju – Martjin
Ceyhun and Luc

First lesson learnt from the 1st half of the season: not to lose any precious time and start always alla grande.
Indeed, the 1st ten minutes at the BBT futuristic stadium (no human being in the surrounding 10 km apart from the 26 players + the best Bon Délégué of Benelux – ours of course) showed that this team has a great spirit: 8 seconds and we lead !!!
King of Duvel gets the ball, opens to the left side for the upcoming dutch springbok from Rotterdam – the dutch beast – who goes on running, gets free of a couple of wallon jaguars (strange version of jaguars this one…), crosses to the centre of the small box and.. deliciously Brutus delivers the ball en volée behind the goally !!!
1 – 0 after 8 seconds, probably a record.

Good start but maybe too good… LXG relaxed a bit, proving not focused as they should have been. Still the match has no history: the Dutch Beast does what he wants on his side, so does Cata on the right. The defence confirms his great condition and solidity, good work from the pillars in the mid.
In one of the many occasions we had, the ball arrived to the Turkish Hawk, the only man supporting Galatasaray in Ixelles, who catched it and put it elegantly in.. Gooaaall !!!

Then arrived a whistle from a black blackest-than-ever man for a controversial offside… still 1 – 0.

Again for LXG, King of Duvel gets free of 12 ennemies (one from his own side), delights the fellows with a circus pirouette and… kicks the balls towards the BST pub, probably an excuse to go there later on…
“Unlucky !” was heard from the defence line…
Objectivity is not part of LXG, hopefully.

Few moments of semi-panic came for the defence, a couple of corners for Mahiermont, but no tangible risk for LXG, with the Red Dragon splitting fire from up and from down too…

At the break James City entered for Ceyhun, Jani for Cata and Jean-Luc for Fra. Viv took the right back, Jani ahead of him, Jean-Luc on the left back and James up front.

LXG started very well the second half, while Mahiermont experienced plenty of difficulties on getting free from the Christmas’ souvenirs.
5 goals were scoared in around 25 minutes:
First, an amazing gymkhana of Shaju from the left corner to the centre, cross for Martjin and ball inevitably in goal !!! 2 – 0 !!!
Then the dutch tandem worked again efficiently, cross from the Dutch Beast to Brutus: no doubt, 3 – 0 !!!

James got the ball 15 meters from the target, crossed for Brutus again… 4 – 0 and match officially opened to amusement !!!
The fifth dutch goal came 3 minutes later, from Martjin… 5 – 0 lads !!!
Always the Dutch Beast conquered the ball on the left, made his 33rd cross for… Captain Pinedaaaaa !!!!! Copacabanaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6 – 0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Despite the large score, LXG continued to attack unceasingly and having billions of opportunities, especially from the wings. One arrived when Jani was on the spot for a penalty… We won’t describe what happens for fairness towards Santa Claus since we were still in Christmas holidays, but we can say that the score remained 6 – 0.

Few moments of pride and demonstration of strength and coordination for LXG defence too and then room for the usual congratulations among all the players. The party is over.

Great spirit, good playing, but next target is very close now… let’s give some medicines to Pharma lads !!!!!!

Francesco