Match report - saturday 2 february 2008 by Luc van Basten
Last saturday, the time had come to play one of the most important games of the season. LXG had been struggling in 2007 to get the noses in the same direction (Dutch saying), but finally after a lot of tactical discussions, boosting our fitness (despite some exceptions) and some important gained self-confidence, we were ready to move up and up and up. And so we did, with some important wins on teams which were not great (just like Liverpool, Lazio, Manchester and Feyenoord), but still you have to win these games. After this tremendous victory tour, we were now only 7 points behind the number 2 in the league and we had to play the nr.3 Tourinnois, from which we lost 4-0 away. It was the match report writer's debut and to be honest after that game my confidence in our team was low, and I was really wondering how we got ever reach a Heracles level as I am used to. Luckily things had improved during the season and we were confident to win this game today at the British School. Until.....we were informed that our favourite ref would be there. The little gnome who gave us 8 yellows against Country FC, and where we lost with 6-2, all because of the ref.... The ref brought his humongous papa, with whom Victor, the BD, seemed to hit if off quite well as they were joking and winking to each other before and during the match (I heard they were spotted kissing in the catacombs afterwards). Victor even convinced him to sit on the LXG bench, which meant that the substitutes had to stand all game (thanks for that Vic).
Regrettably, a lot of players were not there, because of injuries or other reasons. Some examples: Shaju had another weekend with his family-in-law in the Ardennes (14th time this year), Eoin was invited for a playboy mansion party (after being on the Fan-list for seventeen years), David "Cara Picha" was in New Zealand investigating ways to sell kiwis as a new "tapa" for the Basque people, Raffaele and Alfio were recruited to go back to Italy to clean up Naples, Victor and James had to collect their prizes at the porn movie awards in Cannes, and so on.
But hey, still we are LXG, and we started the game with Vliegenthart AKA Gelatino AKA Pussy-eater AKA No-Headers-My-Hair-Cannot-Take-it, as our captain. His most important job was to shut up the rest of the team, as we cannot get enough of shouting at the referee, or make other gestures towards refs. He succeeded really well until the last 5 minutes, but I will come to that later.
LXG spirit was high; we controlled and dominated the game. Tourinnois, a very good, almost Heracles-like team, was well organized, but couldn't break pots(Dutch saying), because of the solid defending by Flo le Bleu and Pat McMule, with Fran the Man and Marco Ballerina on the sides. Soon, we got some nice chances as well and we showed some good combinations on the pitch. The midfield was solid and Bip Bip looked fitter than ever, because of his new haircut (although this was a stressful operation, as this was not done by his Italian coiffure, but a Belgian one and he was not really confident in the outcome). Unfortunately, Bip Bip got a yellow card after 20 seconds, because of walking back to the midfield pas the keeper, which is worth a yellow card according to Abssa-rules, as Martijn also experienced in the second half.
Although we got some good chances and shots on goal, Tourinnois unfortunately scored the first goal. In former times we would wrap the fish and go home (Dutch saying) with a 4-0 loss, but not this new improved (Heracles-like) LXG. We stood up like one man and waves of attacks on the Tourinnois goalie were commenced. On the right side Simon "Don Quixote" passed and ran as a maniac. Paulo fooled every opponent by his great Italian pasta moves and talking. Titus, who played with only one leg, was defending the midfield like a Romanian Tiger. And Martijn.....was doing his hair, while at the same time showed some of his great Ajax-skills on the midfield. Feyenoord would never reach this level. Just a few minutes before half-time we made a tremendous goal of which a lot of teams could only dream (for example, Manchester United, Liverpool, West Ham, Lazio, Roma, to mention a few). A great attack on the left side, with a perfect pass of Paulo to Ballerina and I most honestly say; a great finishing touch of Mr. Heracles himself.
During half-time we were told to go fucking in there and win this game. At the same time Victor tried to seduce the father of the Ref again by offering him some water and sweet words. Great effort!!! In the second half we tried to score a goal in the beginning and especially Flo got it on his hips (Dutch saying) during the second half. Probably he was inspired by his new apartment and sitting a week on his toilet as this was the only possible place in the apartment. I don't know but he was everywhere, outplayed all attackers of Tourinnois, and even came to assist the strikers. Completely deserved Tourinnois got a penalty, as Ale grabbed the ball from the air and there was no attacker around (probably another Abssa-rule). Than Ballerina got send off for doing a plié in front of the Referee, which was very nice for the spectators, but again Abssa-rules don't allow a plié in front of the Ref and he was just following the rules. Marco danced off the field with a lot of beautiful hand gestures. Paulo wanted to take over the role of Ballerina, but his plié was not accepted by the Ref as a plié and so he just had to settle with a yellow card.
Fortunately, the captain of Tourinnois, a hunter in the Walloon woods, was too busy with some ducks which flew over the pitch. That he by mistake aimed at the ducks instead of the goal, he didn't hit both regrettably. In the last couple of minutes with only ten men on the field, LXG went for a final goal to keep the 3rd division hopes alive, but sadly we didn't succeed. I will not go into details regarding our last chance that wouldn't be fair towards the man who played such a great magical game and was a defender, attacker, rugby-player and gamble-king in one during last Saturday.
We drew, a sad thing, but we played like a real team which eventually (this or next year) will move up in the future. The potential and libido is there. Come on guys; let's crush Chief Kapellen next week.
Regrettably, a lot of players were not there, because of injuries or other reasons. Some examples: Shaju had another weekend with his family-in-law in the Ardennes (14th time this year), Eoin was invited for a playboy mansion party (after being on the Fan-list for seventeen years), David "Cara Picha" was in New Zealand investigating ways to sell kiwis as a new "tapa" for the Basque people, Raffaele and Alfio were recruited to go back to Italy to clean up Naples, Victor and James had to collect their prizes at the porn movie awards in Cannes, and so on.
But hey, still we are LXG, and we started the game with Vliegenthart AKA Gelatino AKA Pussy-eater AKA No-Headers-My-Hair-Cannot-Take-it, as our captain. His most important job was to shut up the rest of the team, as we cannot get enough of shouting at the referee, or make other gestures towards refs. He succeeded really well until the last 5 minutes, but I will come to that later.
LXG spirit was high; we controlled and dominated the game. Tourinnois, a very good, almost Heracles-like team, was well organized, but couldn't break pots(Dutch saying), because of the solid defending by Flo le Bleu and Pat McMule, with Fran the Man and Marco Ballerina on the sides. Soon, we got some nice chances as well and we showed some good combinations on the pitch. The midfield was solid and Bip Bip looked fitter than ever, because of his new haircut (although this was a stressful operation, as this was not done by his Italian coiffure, but a Belgian one and he was not really confident in the outcome). Unfortunately, Bip Bip got a yellow card after 20 seconds, because of walking back to the midfield pas the keeper, which is worth a yellow card according to Abssa-rules, as Martijn also experienced in the second half.
Although we got some good chances and shots on goal, Tourinnois unfortunately scored the first goal. In former times we would wrap the fish and go home (Dutch saying) with a 4-0 loss, but not this new improved (Heracles-like) LXG. We stood up like one man and waves of attacks on the Tourinnois goalie were commenced. On the right side Simon "Don Quixote" passed and ran as a maniac. Paulo fooled every opponent by his great Italian pasta moves and talking. Titus, who played with only one leg, was defending the midfield like a Romanian Tiger. And Martijn.....was doing his hair, while at the same time showed some of his great Ajax-skills on the midfield. Feyenoord would never reach this level. Just a few minutes before half-time we made a tremendous goal of which a lot of teams could only dream (for example, Manchester United, Liverpool, West Ham, Lazio, Roma, to mention a few). A great attack on the left side, with a perfect pass of Paulo to Ballerina and I most honestly say; a great finishing touch of Mr. Heracles himself.
During half-time we were told to go fucking in there and win this game. At the same time Victor tried to seduce the father of the Ref again by offering him some water and sweet words. Great effort!!! In the second half we tried to score a goal in the beginning and especially Flo got it on his hips (Dutch saying) during the second half. Probably he was inspired by his new apartment and sitting a week on his toilet as this was the only possible place in the apartment. I don't know but he was everywhere, outplayed all attackers of Tourinnois, and even came to assist the strikers. Completely deserved Tourinnois got a penalty, as Ale grabbed the ball from the air and there was no attacker around (probably another Abssa-rule). Than Ballerina got send off for doing a plié in front of the Referee, which was very nice for the spectators, but again Abssa-rules don't allow a plié in front of the Ref and he was just following the rules. Marco danced off the field with a lot of beautiful hand gestures. Paulo wanted to take over the role of Ballerina, but his plié was not accepted by the Ref as a plié and so he just had to settle with a yellow card.
Fortunately, the captain of Tourinnois, a hunter in the Walloon woods, was too busy with some ducks which flew over the pitch. That he by mistake aimed at the ducks instead of the goal, he didn't hit both regrettably. In the last couple of minutes with only ten men on the field, LXG went for a final goal to keep the 3rd division hopes alive, but sadly we didn't succeed. I will not go into details regarding our last chance that wouldn't be fair towards the man who played such a great magical game and was a defender, attacker, rugby-player and gamble-king in one during last Saturday.
We drew, a sad thing, but we played like a real team which eventually (this or next year) will move up in the future. The potential and libido is there. Come on guys; let's crush Chief Kapellen next week.
posted by Eoin at 9:14 am
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